Archive for the ‘Something Like Life’ Category

Ah, my Old Friend

25 February 2007

It’s been a rough week and I just realized that it’s been a long time since I’ve spent some quality time with my old friend, Rum.

Ah, it’s so nice to catch up.   

I can breathe!

22 October 2006

This might not seem exciting to anybody else, but after being stuffed up for two weeks, I’m pretty freakin’ happy about it.  I don’t know what kind of bug I managed to catch, but I haven’t had a cold like that in years. 

Welcome to Europe.  Here, please sample our viruses

Sigh.  I’m just glad it’s over.  I HATE being sick.    

Signing off

31 July 2006

As soon as I complete this post, my desktop computer will be cruelly ripped from my hands and packed into a box where it will remain for nearly three months.

The separation anxiety has already begun.  If it weren’t for the laptop that will thankfully be in the carry-on luggage, I would already be on the floor twitching and drooling.

I will miss my computer very much.  It’s been the link to my friends and the means of every completed story I’ve ever had the guts to share with the world.  It will be a long three months before I can happily unpack it in a new home across the ocean.

This may be the last post I make for a few weeks.  Wish me luck and keep your fingers crossed on the slim chance that I get my desktop in maybe only two months.

Belladonna signing off…

Moving sucks!

30 July 2006

That sums it all up.  Moving just sucks.  Packing, cleaning, sorting, re-packing and then not having quite enough room.  Aaaaahhhhhhh! 

I can’t wait to be done with it all.

Three more days. 

Chasing Shadows

20 July 2006

I recently took a long overdue trip back to my alma mater, the illustrious WPI in the not so illustrious city of Worcester.  There were a lot more things to do as a student than a tourist.  I did, however get the chance to visit most of the old haunts. 

The campus has seen a bit of growth.  One parking lot has grown into an admin building and a much beloved lawn has been cut away to make room for a campus center.  While the center is very nice and a much nicer spot to hang out than the Wedge.  I will always love the places that were mine more than anything new.  And my inner dryad will lament the loss of the lawn and trees forever.

My old neighborhood is still a very questionable area, but there have been some definite improvements.  The “crack house” is gone and appears to be a respectable home now.  And a few of the old haves have been demolished for a very swank set of new small apartments with reserved covered parking.  My old building appears unchanged and according to the mailbox was still co-ed. 

I spent the morning visiting the art museum home of one of my favorite places.  And one of the most naturally calming places I’ve ever been:  The Chapter House.  It was a tiny haven of peace against the chaos inherent in college life.  Even now, the memory is a soothing balm to raw nerves.

And, of course, no visit would be complete without a jaunt up to Bancroft Tower.  I can’t count the number of nights we spent at the top gazing out at the stars.  It had the best view in the city and the added thrill of trespassing after hours.  It was a right of passage.  And it’s full of memories.

Everywhere I went was full of memories.  I saw shadows of my younger self peeking around corners.  On campus she was leaning against the rail at the  Alden loading dock waiting for a Masque meeting to start, taking a break from a read-through.  She was in my old apartment window watching the shade of Chucky skip merrily home.  She was in my old room still crying over her first broken heart.  I caught a glimpse of her peering out from the heights of Bancroft Tower surveying the world with her three cohorts. 

And I’ve realized that she’s still in me.  The six years since leaving WPI haven’t changed me much.  It was those four years there that made me who I am.  My whirlwind trip was too short to see everything or everyone that I’d hoped to, but I saw enough to stop chasing the shadows of my college self and find her still in me. 

Time for Whiskey

27 March 2006

I have grand plans for this evening involving a shot glass and a lovely bottle of whiskey.  The occasion…today should have been my mother's fifty-first birthday. 


A Conversation

21 March 2006

“What are you doing?”

“Just watching it rain.”

“Mmm.  It’s a nice rain, warm and soft…”

“It’s a storm that’s lost its fury. Now, it’s just slowly bleeding to death, too weak to lash out at its end. Too tired and spent to avenge itself.”

“Maybe it wanted to end with peace.”

“Maybe it was just defeated.”

“It’s just conserving its power for next time.”

“No, it’s dead.  There won’t be a next time.”


I can only pray indulgence on this one…It’s been a tough week.

On Old Friends

20 March 2006

Some friends stay with you forever.  Even if you haven't talked to them in months or years, they still hold a piece of your heart.  There's a fondness there for all the old inside jokes.  For Orange Juice and The Four Horsemen.  For midnight raids on Bancroft Tower and Chucky.  The memories make me smile as do thoughts of the people I share those memories with.

I'm pretty bad at staying in touch with the friends who meant the most to me.  I can only hope that they know I think of them way more that I email. 

The past couple weeks have been full of people getting back in touch with me.  It's strange how things happen all at once like that.

Most of them really were, and still are, wonderful friends who I am thrilled to talk to.  But there are a couple who crept into the happy mix and I have to wonder how.  Those are the creepy ones.  The ones that you barely talked to in high school, but were nice to out of courtesy.  Ten years later, they send an email wanting to catch up like you were best friends… 

Actually there's just one creepy one.  Guy from high school, always a big loser.  Honestly, I hadn't spared a moment thinking of him until he emailed me.  And then I had to wonder what must his life be like to reach out to long-expired acquaintances.  Does he really have no one else from our alma mater to connect with?  How many "Hey, long time, how have you been?" emails did he send out?  I'll return the greeting, but the communication will be shallow and quickly wane.  He's just not a part of those memories.

So to him, I hope the Fates treat you kind and I hope you have better friends than me.

To the rest, I could promise to email more often or send out monthly updates on my life.  Instead though, I'll promise to hold the memories close and be thankful each time our lives wind their ways back together.  Even if it's just for the span of a few lines of mail. 

Thoughts on Valentine’s Day

14 February 2006

Maybe it’s due to the anti-Valentine parties from college or just the leftover bitterness of the “ex who did me wrong” but I don’t like Valentine’s Day.  And before I’m acccused of just being lonely and disgruntled, I am in a happy commited relationship.  I just don’t like Valentine’s Day.

Maybe it’s because I don’t like being forced into declarations of affection because it’s marked on the calander.  Or maybe it’s beacuse it’s just too commercialized and overdone.  I just don’t like Valentine’s Day.

So, no cards, no boxes of little chocolates.  No elaborate dinner, no dressing up and going out.  A DVD and take-out Chinese, just like countless other nights, will be just fine.  The people I love know that I love them.  And that should be enough.  I just don’t like Valentine’s Day. 

Try again on a different holiday.  Maybe Halloween or Christmas.  I just don’t like Valentine’s Day.